The Last Words for Closure- March 5th 2022

 

Have you ever had a friend that you literally thought would be your best friend forever? You shared secrets everything with them. They were the ones who helped you break out of your shell. You even had a nickname for the two of you? Many many inside jokes. You planned your futures with each other in them? Then the worse moment of your life comes, when you have to step away and remove them from it.  I have, and not a day goes by where I don’t think about it. But sometimes, after the millionth chance, you have given them from the drama that every friendship endures. You just can’t take it anymore.

 

I feel absolutely horrible for having to remove this friend from my life. They were my best friend in the entire world. Ending our friendship was the second biggest heartbreak I have ever endured. The first well, of course, they know about that. But at the end of the day weighing the pros and cons of keeping them around, the cons won. I didn’t do it the right way either... Which is what makes me feel even worse. I kind of pulled a guy move deleted and ghosted them. After that final situation, I was put in, where I almost had to lie for a very long time... I couldn’t handle that kind of stuff in my life. So when I found out that I wouldn’t have to lie, I felt so bad how relieved I was. I have never said that to them. I may have mentioned it to one other but not them. This breaks my heart even more that I didn’t even have the balls, to be honest about it.

Now my life since I removed them from my life has been way less dramatic. But that doesn’t keep me from thinking about how much I miss them every day. Our friendships our jokes. But at the end of the day as much as it sucks it is for the best.

 

I do want to say to the person this is about. [ they will know] I am so sorry for ending our friendship the way I did, I am sorry for not admitting how relieved I was when I didn’t have to be in the last situation we were in. as much as it hurts it was for the best.

 

I do love you and always will remember the friendship we had.

 

I am sorry.

© A.Rickards March 5th 2022