Mother's Day [ late post] - May 19, 2021

 

Now, this is a piece I have been working on since Mother’s Day. This is a very touchy subject to me for many reasons especially since I had my mama taken from me so young. I have finally finished it and despite the controversy, it may bring for some that may end up seeing. I have decided to post it anyways. I will not censor or hold back myself from moving forward with my writing. Some people may have issues then others may not. As a writer, I have to take risks and accept any backlash.  I hope you all enjoy this piece.

 

xo

 

Amber

 

 

 Mother's Day

Mothers day what is there to say? It’s always been one of the hardest days of my life. Don’t get me wrong I am so grateful for my grandma and my stepmom Heather. But before  I spent those days focusing on them… it was a harder time for me... As most know I lost my mother in 1993. Now my father found someone after her... I am not going to sugar coat anything, she was the meanest old bitch I’ve ever met.  I remember when they got married. She never gave me the option, she informed me she was now my mother and I was to call her mom. Which was totally not fair as she didn’t make her kids call my father dad. Even though ¾ of them did not her son. But she never made him call Him that.  I vividly remember that morning her saying I’m your mom now call me mom. I told her she wasn’t my fucking mother. As I sat and cried in the rocking chair. I felt so alone my father never even stuck up for me. He went along with all she wanted. So of course through all the years at school when they were together, I was basically forced to make Mother’s Day stuff for someone I hated. Someone I despised, that I hated to my core. Those are the worse years of my life, it felt like they wanted me to just forget that my mama ever existed. So in 2000 when Mother’s Day rolled around. I was excited to celebrate with my grandma my mama's mom. Which was an odd feeling for me considering all those years I had to spend and shower the person I hate most in the world. Now a few years later my father starting dating my aunt's friend actually. I wasn’t quite sure how I felt at first even though I did like her. Was she going to act like the other? What was going to happen? To my surprise, she decided to be my friend. After few years I had accepted her and celebrated “heather day” not Mother’s day. I wanted to celebrate her friendship like I celebrated my grandma. Eventually, I did start to celebrate it with her as Mother’s Day. Even now 5 and a half years after she and my father broke up I still cherish our relationship and acknowledge her on that special day. I am so grateful to have her and my grandma in my life to celebrate every year. I would also like to mention how amazed I am watching all my friends that are mothers. I am surrounded by so many fantastic mothers in my life and couldn’t be happier watching them raise and feeling all the love they give to their kids.

© A.Rickards